Just trying to catch up...

My other blog was deleted so I'm putting some old blogs on here.....

- I just always put Him first

It's all just going to come out in no specific order but I need to vent!

I really love that people look at me and see a strong girl that is dedicated to each thing she commits to doing, I love that. What I don't like is that they put themselves down thinking they can't do what I do, I wish they could see if it's in their heart and desires they can. Yes life is hard & very diffrent for each of us, I know that. I also know that I dong have it as easy as it seems! My life isn't easy at all, but I make the best out of it. I have my own struggles that sometimes may not be huge but they are barely enough for me to carry. Yet I put a smile on my face and try to think positive cause I know I'll make it. It's all just phases of life. I have my rocky days when I think I should just give up but something always reminds me that I can't, usually that's my bestfriend! If I can't give up neither can you, we may be in diffrent situations but we both have the same rock to hold onto and that's God, the man who came and suffered just like we are suffering in fact more than us, cause Im not sure I'd be crucified for others sins. Remid yourself that you are strong cause He gave you that strength and He puts people in our life to remind us of that. & when your too weak just let Him hold you up!
I'm telling you, I'm not any more special than you, I just trust in Him first, and you should too

-Itzel(:




Lessons learned....
It's been a while since I wrote one of these!
Ive been meaning to write one for so long, but just don't know exactly what to say since I've learned so much during these past weeks.
I guess I'll just say what that is;;
Family will always be there, when they don't show how proud they are is because nothing can express the amount of joy they have. I'm glad that I have seen how proud my dad is. I know for sure now that all my work and tears have paid off!
2.
It doesn't matter how much you show a person that you would do anything for them, they end up listening to everyone else.
3.
You can't force your heart to love someone no matter how much you believe that person deserves your love.
4.
What people tell you that your future holds or what they think you should choose for your future will not make you happy, even if you think it will.
5.
It doesn't matter what or how much you want the best for your most loved people, they prefer to get hurt. You just have to learn to accept it and be there to soothe the pain when you can. That is when you will show how much you love and care for them, even of they don't appreciate it because the are blinded fools.
..:.
The people you least expect it WILL either lie to you or hide things from you. & it hurts even more than what you think, and even more when they think you don't know whatthey are doing.
..,:
You have to learn to be happy for yourself, even if sometimes the path gets rough because even if you don't know where you stand or how you stand, you do know where you intention of going is and that one day you will make it.
..,::
Happiness may lie in the life of others but doesn't mean it doesnt exist without them.!
What you lose with someone else CAN be gained back., you just have to want it!
God gave His life on the cross for you to have eternal salvation, so anything you do can be forgiven!

That's it for now, everyday I learn something new and right now I just named a few things;;
Comment(:

-Itzel(:

The diffrence between you & me!

Let me tell you why I'm not like the rest.

The diffrence between you and me....

I put my family first, no matter what if I dont have their trust or their not happy then I might as well be a nobody.

You make choices without knowing that your family carries out the consequences. You hurt their feelings and their image,

Honestly they are my main priority and they become last on your list. You chose a stranger over them.

I cherish myself, I respect myself and make myself be respected through out our society. I have a God who died for my life and therefore I care for it and since He lives in me, I respect my body and soul.

You, chose to fit in. Instead of holding onto your value, you let everyone step over it.

Yeah, my God is also yours. You just havent chosen to respect yourself for His sake.

I would do aything for you to trust me. The last thing I would do is let you down.

You decide to lie and turn your back on the people who give you that trust.

Stop lying to yourself, your not trustworthy.You cant even trust your own mind.

I set my mind on something and I get there. I'm not wasting my time,because life is too short.

You, change your mind more then a newborn is changed of diapers. Get a grasp at life cause before you know its too late.

I live for the happiness of others, If I could help everyone in troubles I would.

You chose your happiness even if it only lasts for a drunken night.

Im here to make an impact and chance lives while you sit around waiting for someone to change yours...

There are millions of diffrences in me and you,so dont dare to say we are the same.

If you were to be like me,you wouldnt regrett your past or doubt your future,

However, just like we are diffrent, we are also the same. I just havent sat down and thought about those yet.

-Itzel(:

Scared of Age

There is something about getting older that scares me. It scares me a lot. In a few weekends I'll be 18, I can still remember being anxious about turning the double digits or even 15. All of a sudden I'm scared. Life is scary, but growing up is more. There are days that I think to myself, will I ever move out on my own. I know everyone told me that after high school everything will be so much harder, but noone said it would be scary. Somehow the world outside of high school isnt so much harder, yet turning 18 is because I'll finally be an adult and that scary. Here comes the real life, responsibilties that I'm scared to face and truths of life that I wish I didnt have to accept. This is when real change happens. When all the people you thought would never leave your side start to dissapear and as much as you try to find them, you have to learn that they are gone.Your parents start getting each day older and everyday the thought of you not having them all your life becomes more of a reality. Your family as in cousins start making their own lives and seeing them everyday doesnt happen anymore.You begin to see how the real world doesnt revolve around what you wish for but what politics decide on, if they ever even do that. Your baby brothers voice starts to change and you cant believe the day where he is taller than you came. These are the little things about age that scare me. The fact that time is coming faster than I have ever imagined and its going to start to go even faster.

I've always said I would like to die young. The reason of that is because I'd rather not experience all these changes. Its okay if I dont get tosee all the new things in life, may sound selfish but true.

I think I will let God decide how long I get to live but until then I will live scared, yet keep in mind that all lifes beauties come in time.

When your 17.

When your 17 and have a mind like mine, you begin to realize so much.
All of a sudden you rather not turn 18, not because of the responsibilities but because you stop being a kid, atleast to society. Inside of me there a is a big kid and that will always be me, no matter how old I get.
There is just a part of me that thinks beyond what teenagers these days think. There is an adult in me, I see things so diffrent and although sometimes I hate it, most of the time I love it. There are days I find myself thinking of why I was never like the rest of the girls at age 15, looking for boys and having "fun". I always thought guys were cute and all but somehow I always expected a much higher maturity level in them. I date but it never seems to work out and that is because I expect so much, but in a good way. I dont expect money or gifts but I do expect a lot of respect not only for me but for himself and the people around us. I expect high goals for the individual that person is even if I know we would never work out. I see people and always wish the best for them, I want them to love who they are no matter where they came from or their abilities. I wish I could reach each teenage girl and tell her how much she is worth and that all lifes gifts come at their own time. I wish I could tell each guy that respecting a girl is oneof the most amazing virtues one could have. There are times I see that a guy doesnt give his girlfriend the respect she needs and she doesnt make him understand and that just breaks my heart. I dislike when people think they can just hurt someone and fix it with a simple sorry, that is not always meant.
Oh & let me not get into friendships, thats a diffrent subject for a diffrent day.
I just have so much, I wish I could change from this world, to make it into my perfect world. In ways I have, I have changed the way many people see things and how I react to things making it my perfect world. Id just like to make it perfect for everyone.My definition of pefect is not a worl without problems or pain but a world that you can see yourself happy with what you have and who you are. You dont have to have money or come from a perfect family. You just have to want to better yourself and have goals that seem impossible to everyone elses eyes but yours. If you dont believe how high you can reach, do not expect others to see you as a bigger person. I find it so sad when I look at people and I see beauty in and out and they see themselves as the lowest of the low.
Well I think I totally went off track but my point is, Im 17 and sometimes I dont feel like I see life through a 17 year olds life. I see it through some other weird age, but its not 18 either. The reason Id rather be 17 is because its a prime number and its odd, just like the way I think. If im 18 then I feel like I have to see things more like an 18 year old and that is not a nice sight,


-<3 Itzel (:

Daddy's Note

Daddy,
I may not say this often, but I know I'm blessed in having a dad like you. Oh I'm so thankful to God for allowing me to be your daughter and even more your only daughter, your reina!
I have become who I am because of you. I may not have realized it then but what you have done has only been to push me beyond my limits, farther than I have ever imagined of being. It's because you challenged me that I graduated in a white robe! I'm pushing myself to go to college because you never believed I would! You have never told me but I know your proud, I may not have your full support but one day I will. You may be scared to tell me how proud I've made you but it's not needed I've seen it in your eyes and in your day to day sacrifice.
It's your love for me and my brothers, and my mom, I know she completes your heart that you sacrifice so much. It's not easy and I know it, being away for such long times missing out on many things like a fathers day with us. I don't know what you go through by being away, but just coming home to an empty motel should be enough. While we are here at home, we miss you so much. I get scared sometimes being alone without you to protect us. You've sacrificed so much and I appreciate it because it's all for us. You have provided with everything necessary for us to live happy. I hope to always make you proud dad, as proud as you have been for me till now.
Thanks for pushing me beyond limits and for allowing me to dream big, I'll show you that my dreams are very possible because I have you I'm not giving up.
Thanks for sacrificing so much for us, many hours away from home and injuries in your body! I admire that so much.
Your reina,
Itzel